Welcome 2017!

happy-new-year2017

 

Another year is here
Resolutions are being made
Will they stay or will they fade
Will I change my mind once more
Or be the same as it was before?
Can I really hold my will
Hold it tight and hold it still?
Will it last the year through
And make the change I want it to?
The choice is mine it’s up to me
I decide what I want to do

Happy New Year — 2016

Happy-New-Year-Greetings

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions anymore but if I did… These would be it…
LOL 😀

I actually wrote this last year and thought I should share it again.

Another year is here
Resolutions are being made
Will they stay or will they fade
Will I change my mind once more
Or be the same as it was before?
Can I really hold my will
Hold it tight and hold it still?
Will it last the year through
And make the change I want it to?
The choice is mine it’s up to me
I decide what I want to do

Loving Me

I am not flawless nor do I claim to be
I am proud of the fact that I am a woman indeed

My body isn’t small in fact I am curvy
I have large hips and a rounded belly

I am not one of these girls that walk around
And pretend to be someone else

Nor do I want to be perfect
I just want to be real

Because When a man holds me
He can feel complete

I will represent all that is true
which is that loving someone
regardless of their size is not taboo…

I Didn’t Feel Fat…

omg

I didn’t feel fat
Until I saw the number
Blinking back at me

Nothing has changed
Since yesterday, except
Maybe a pound, two, or five?

Deep breaths
In through the nose
Out through the mouth

You are healthy
You are beautiful
There is nothing wrong with you

I need to believe this

Still…

Numbers don’t lie
I am fat…

Choices

The choices we make along the way,
Will determine how we will spend our day.

We have a choice about how we feel,
By the food we eat at every meal.

How about a hamburger, fries and a pop?
I will choose a chicken salad with nothing on top.

This is a day when friends are together,
Cake, ice cream and lovely weather.

What will I do when tempted this way?
Should I go home or can I stay?

I must remember I am strong and free,
I am going to be the person I want to be.

When I eat healthy and stay in charge,
I can wear a small instead of a large.

Conflicted and Torn

Fuck this inconsistent turmoil inside me
I’m so conflicted
I can’t think straight
I am being torn at the seams

I want to run and hide
But being responsible is pulling me out
“Be strong and it will ease the pain”, they say
I want to believe

“It’s not working!”, I cry in anguish

“Make it work”
“Be realistic”
“I know you can do this”
A promising distant hum chants

Being reasonable feels so wrong and unkind
However being selfless is driving me insane
I wonder if peace I will ever find
While not causing my loved ones and myself more pain

She

IMG_1481

She
Is just like me
She
Is my age, smiles at the same jokes, cries at the same sad stories
She
Walks past me and in my mind I say
She
Is getting fit
She
Believes she is beautiful but why does my mind demean her?
She
Is loving the way her clothes fit but why does my mind run to the way her clothes are too tight
She
Is trying to change me from my misperceptions of pretty
She
Is succeeding
She
Is unique and so am I
She
Is
Me

 

My Creed

chiseilng out the fat....

 

The poet in me give me the words I need
That I can learn this simple creed,
So I may know the way of life
Enjoy the good, keep out the strife.

Self-discipline is my desire
It will keep me out of the fire,
To increase my own will power
I will not cower.

Emotions are the way I feel
Control of them, they are the real deal,
So I can reason, good or bad
Then keep the joy and shun the sad.

Imagination can light the fire
Can create a vision higher,
My conscience is my judge each day
So I can choose a better way.

In my memory, can impress
All the good I need address,
So in my mind I have power
To live my life this very hour.

Self-discipline it is my creed
And it will give me all I need,
To set the goal I can complete
So I can create a life that’s sweet.

 

Welcome To My Blog

halo around the moon

The Moon is my sister
The Stars are my friends
The Sun is my ally
To serve and depend
I’ll shine through the shadows
And glow through the night
Embracing the moon with my light.

 

My Name is Ayla Creed and I am the halo of light encircling the moon.
Welcome to my blog.