Happy Thanksgiving 


Nov 23th — Nooner and Core Class

img_1345I was excited to come to class, even though I was still sore, today. My trainer Stephanie’s attitude is so irresistible and powerful. She lifts your spirits up.
So, I was excited until I saw the warmup-up.
Ok, I know we are not supposed to be negative but I must get it out. 🙂
UGH, more running! Ay Dios Mio! Tell me it’s not so. I’ve been running since Sunday and I was not in the mood for more running. Not that I am ever looking forward to running but today my legs were sore and my heel was hurting even more. I was not a very happy camper.

But I was not going to quit and with a smile I did my warm-up giving it my all.
Then the fun started with a 22-station obstacle course. I wish I could say I did all the stations but I didn’t. I just couldn’t in the allowed time but I came close to finishing and that is something to be proud of.

I gave it my best and it made me happy.

It’s always a great feeling when you are able to finish what you started.
My high was strong that when our trainer mentioned “Sally” I just thought. “Bring it!”
For those that you don’t know who is Sally. Sally is “Flower” by Moby and basically you squat down when you hear “Green Sally down” and get up when you hear “Green Sally up” and then when you hear “Old miss lucy’s dead…” you squat down and pulse or hold it.

Try it – I dare you.

After all that, I stayed over and did Stephanie’s  30 min core class. That was an intense class.
I am looking forward to having a strong core. 

Nov 22nd — Never Miss Leg Day Tuesday

img_1292Today was leg day and I wasn’t looking forward to going because my thighs are still very sore.
I haven’t told you I have an accountability partner (AP) who is making me stick to my workouts no matter what. He want’s to help me succeed and while he is far away he can still help me.

I am mentioning my AP because he was expecting me to go and work out today and…………………
I really really really didn’t want to work out but I knew I had to find a valid excuse backed by medical science.
Surely, I could google an article that would say

“You can take the day off when your muscles are sore.”

Well, not only did I not find such article but also my AP was not impressed with me trying to convince him that I needed a day off. He clearly told me that it didn’t matter what I showed him and I will still go and workout. That wasn’t all he added that if I didn’t go he would be very disappointed in me.


4 pm came and off I went. Crying, Ok I wasn’t really crying, but I was dreading the pain that I was to endure. I didn’t want to feel that kind of pain.  I was tired — my body was tired.

Deep breaths

Obviously, I survived. I didn’t die but this workout tested my resolve. The running warm-up almost did me in and the circuit training was hard. I couldn’t help but to feel deflated that I couldn’t do the exercises as I normally could.

Through the workout, I fought my way through the negative thoughts and focused on the fact that I was here. That I was burning calories and that in the long run it was going to help me even if I didn’t work to my full capacity.

In the end, I was full of endorphins and I felt very good.
And thanks to my AP, I was glad I went.

Nov 21st — Gun Show Monday 

img_1234I am sooooo sooooore today all from Sunday’s workout.
I am suffering from a serious case of the DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness)

My thighs are sore and it’s hard to walk, especially up and down the stairs, (damn living on the second floor!) and don’t even mention sitting on the toilet.
I am seriously contemplating doing research on how a woman can pee standing up or thinking how bad will it would be to wear diapers.  :-/

Anyway, since my upper body was feeling relative fine I had no problems showing up today for Monday’s upper body workout.
As you can see from that huge crazy smile in my face, I was set and ready to go.
SMH, I do look a little too happy here.

The trainers at The Camp dubbed Monday’ s workout “Gun Show Monday” but based on today’s workout it should have been called “Monday’s Push-up Hell”.
I’ve never done so many push-ups in my life.
The warm-up consisted of all kinds of push-ups in between mountain climbers, burpees, and crawls. I was sweating away and I knew my heart rate was up.
Just what I needed to get those endorphins flowing through out my body.

We were told to pair up again and as everyone was pairing up I went to a guy that was alone. It was good choice. He wasn’t too fast for me or too slow for me. Actually, he was just fast enough to push me to keep up with him.
I soon forgot about my muscle soreness and just focused on finishing up my workout.

I left my workout feeling quite accomplished and happy.

Driving home with jelly arms was another story.

Roxanne Plank and Push-up Song

This song came on today while at the store and it brought me back to Sunday’s workout. Can we say flashback? 😀

At the end of Sunday’s workout I heard Stephanie, our trainer, say…

“Everyone, come together in a full circle.”

We did as she told us, some of us groaning, some of us, like myself, wondering what was going to happen.

“Guys, meet Roxanne….”

Then she went to explain how we are to start this song in a high plank position and hold it there until you hear the word Roxanne. Then you do a push-up. You continue until the song is over.
Easy, Right? 🙂
Naw, it as 3 minutes of body shaking hell. Seriously, towards the middle of the song my whole body was shaking from holding a plank and could barely come down to do my (modified) push-ups.
I need more practice and maybe one day I will be like the super fit guy that was next to me and did the whole song without faltering.

I dare you to have some fun and try it. 🙂

Nov 20 — Sunday Funday

img_1153I woke up feeling hungover but it wasn’t because I had drank the night before. It mostly had to do with lack of sleep due to some stress and bad dreams.
My desire to exercise as planned was quickly fleeting. I could feel my dark mood trying to take over and while my rational mind knew that if I went and worked out I would feel better, my emotional side didn’t want to. That side wanted to wallow in her disappointment. Wrap herself in it and feel the warmness that only apathy can bring.
It was a battle because I didn’t want to succumb to negative emotions. Letting indifference take hold of me is never good for me and the people around me.
It was 7 am now and slowly I started to put on my gym clothes.

Fuck, it’s cold I should just stay home

I am not kidding when I tell you that I was like this girl in this video — trying desperately to talk myself into going to The Camp.

By 7:30 am, I was dressed, ate a protein bar, was ready to go but I was still here!
I needed a push and while I didn’t want to go there, because I wasn’t happy with him, I went there. Regardless of how I felt I knew that if I believed I was going to let him down (even if that wasn’t the case) I would feel worse. So, I just made myself believe.
Sometimes, it’s that easy. The mind is powerful.

And now it was 7:45 am and I needed to leave or I would be late and trust me you don’t want to be late for Stephanie’s class.

It won’t be a surprise for you all to read that my workout was just what I needed and it turned out even better when I saw my friend there. We worked out together doing the warm-up from hell and even a harder workout.
It has been a while since I last worked out and as I went through the stations could feel how weak I’ve gotten. 😦 I lost all my strength and stamina but as my friend told me the recovery will be faster and I will get it back quickly.
I finished the workout feeling tired but quite accomplished at what I was able to do.  I always do better when I work out with a partner.  They give me that extra incentive to push just a little harder.

I was ready to go home, thinking of the nice shower I was going to indulge in, when hear his voice behind me
“You ARE staying for core…”

Damn, I am going to be VERY sore tomorrow.

Good Bye Iced Caramel Macchiato

Last month I found this totally amazing drink – a beautiful honey-colored iced caramel macchiato. As I sipped it I felt my inner Italian come alive. In my opinion it’s a perfect mix of sweet, salty with a rich and deeply roasted coffee flavors.
Just YUM!

Oh and it’s so pretty to look at.
I’ve tried both the iced and hot versions but I decided that iced is the way to go. You see when they squirt the caramel into the cold drink it doesn’t mix (as it does when it’s hot) but instead it clumps and hardens a bit and every once in a while you get this awesome little piece of soft caramel in your mouth.
Mmmmm so yummy.  I love getting that surprise unexpected little treat.

I was hooked after the first one and sadly I have indulged in this drink way more often than one should.
Seriously, I am addicted and… sigh I knew after this weekend I had to give it up. It was a bittersweet moment when I bought my caramel macchiato Sunday night before heading to work. I made sure I savored it to the very end.

The reason that I have to give it up is because I am finally feeling healthy enough to go and workout and if I want to make a difference in my weight (and my health) I need to give this and other comfort foods up. I need to start eating healthy again.

Oh my sweet yummy caramel macchiato…. I love you, I will miss you, but we can’t be no more.

Our love affair must come to end.

Good bye Iced Caramel Macchiato.

Be Back Soon

taking a breakI am dealing with two very different catastrophic events that are happening simultaneously in my life right now.  Dealing with these loses is very hard for me.  There are times when I feel like I am suffocating and not going to be able to survive but I know myself and I know in time I will.
I just need time.
I think taking some time off while I try to heal myself is a good idea.

I’ll be back — soon.

Happy New Year — 2016


I don’t do New Year’s resolutions anymore but if I did… These would be it…

I actually wrote this last year and thought I should share it again.

Another year is here
Resolutions are being made
Will they stay or will they fade
Will I change my mind once more
Or be the same as it was before?
Can I really hold my will
Hold it tight and hold it still?
Will it last the year through
And make the change I want it to?
The choice is mine it’s up to me
I decide what I want to do

Gym Wildlife

The Gym. Millions of homo sapiens frequent this urban wilderness. Today we will take a look into this strange place and show you the gym like you’ve never seen it before.

This made me laugh… “”One must wonder… what the FUCK he’s actually there for?”
Fucking hilarious

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did…


Loving Me

I am not flawless nor do I claim to be
I am proud of the fact that I am a woman indeed

My body isn’t small in fact I am curvy
I have large hips and a rounded belly

I am not one of these girls that walk around
And pretend to be someone else

Nor do I want to be perfect
I just want to be real

Because When a man holds me
He can feel complete

I will represent all that is true
which is that loving someone
regardless of their size is not taboo…

Reblog: The Sexy Girl At The Gym

Made me smile…

There’s a sexy girl at the gym today, but it’s not either of you two.

You two, preening in front of the weight mirrors, in your tight and colorful gear, but not doing much. You are there to be seen, not to work. True, you’re both good looking, but you are also both mean.

I can tell.

When that other girl walks past, you both whisper to each other and roll your eyes behind her back. I’ve known people like you before. We all have. And mean isn’t sexy. Even when you look like you do.

That other girl though?

Her gym gear is also tight, but not in quite the right way. She’s pretty, but probably doesn’t think so herself – and so she is here, working. And sweating. She spends almost no time at the mirror and almost all her time doing weights. Her hair gets in the way and she sometimes looks a bit awkward. But so do I. And it makes me smile a little.

You two peacocks in the mirror – what do you see when she walks past? I’ll tell you what I see.

That girl has a plan. She has a vision. I can see it in her eyes from all the way over here. She’s here for a reason. And that drive? That attitude? That makes her somehow sexy. Whoever she is doing this for, whether it’s for herself, someone she has, or someone she wants – they are going to love the result.

I can tell.

– rb5577

I Didn’t Feel Fat…


I didn’t feel fat
Until I saw the number
Blinking back at me

Nothing has changed
Since yesterday, except
Maybe a pound, two, or five?

Deep breaths
In through the nose
Out through the mouth

You are healthy
You are beautiful
There is nothing wrong with you

I need to believe this


Numbers don’t lie
I am fat…


The choices we make along the way,
Will determine how we will spend our day.

We have a choice about how we feel,
By the food we eat at every meal.

How about a hamburger, fries and a pop?
I will choose a chicken salad with nothing on top.

This is a day when friends are together,
Cake, ice cream and lovely weather.

What will I do when tempted this way?
Should I go home or can I stay?

I must remember I am strong and free,
I am going to be the person I want to be.

When I eat healthy and stay in charge,
I can wear a small instead of a large.

Say No To The Cookie

A little look from the voice inside my head after I saw these goodies and more at my work. 🙂

Wait. You are telling me you want to eat that!
Do you even realize what it means to eat that?
You are putting the fat directly in your mouth.
Eating chocolate, bread or whatever else you desire will not make you any skinnier.

You want to eat that.
You want to ignore my voice and continue your eating.
Well, I don’t think so.
Do you really want to eat all the fat, put it in your mouth, swallow, gain weight, and disappoint everyone around you?
And worst of all, are you willing to disappoint me?

You know what you will have to do now, right.
Or, do I need to explain it one more time?
Okay. Go stand in front of the mirror.
Take off your clothes and pinch your fat.
Keep repeating;
“I will be skinny. I am fat now. I will be skinny. I am fat now…”
And you will be skinny!
As long as you do not eat that.

You have come too far to take orders from a cookie.

That’s right! I have will power.   👍



To battle these two sides of me isn’t easy. 😦
Bottom line I need to heal. I’ll take a few days off to do what I need to do and then I need to move forward. I need to heal.
Perhaps to truly heal, I need to align my mind, body and spirit so they all work together in harmony. In this way I will be able to perceive and act from my true self, as opposed to acting from my ego, or subconscious.

I think that the most important thing is for me to be aware of “the present” the “now moment”. Instead of allowing my thoughts to drift to the past or even the future. I know that is my demise.

What I need to do is to be aware of what is happening here, right now. If I am able to keep aware of these events, in all these moments, I might be able to heal and not care if other people know how torn and broken I am.